Olympic medals go to temperamental loners who shun teamwork and labor for years under conditions of obsessive personal sacrifice that few, if any, mainstream employees would tolerate.

I'll have take a tenth of a point deduction because it SUCKED!

Take that Athens 2004!

Fantasies inspire us, regulate our moods and help us contemplate future possiblities. They let us practice what we will be later in life-and what we will never be. They are definitely nessecary....especially considering what mine have been consisting of lately. In some cases I've made my fantasy a reality. When I step back and take a look at my life it appears to reflect a consolidation of many popular fantasies. And I am actually living them. People live through my fantasy life. They want to hear my stories and they want to be me. But fantasy should NOT be made into reality, people. Fantasy should stay fantasy. It is called that for a reason and carries serious consequences when moved into reality. People do not take into account these consequences and continue to envy my tabloid-esque existence. If they knew how empty and unfufilling it was they wouldn't envy me at all.

What do you do when you realize you're leading your life in the complete wrong direction? What if you're nothing like you wanted to be? You look back on dreams born 4 years ago and the you that generated those dreams. That you and the current you wouldn't even be friends. What do you do then? In fact the old you would throw snowballs at the new you....snowballs with rocks in them. How do you reconcile with that old you?

Why is it so much easier to keep putting one foot in front of the other on the wrong path? when you really should be doing an about-face? The about-face shouldn't be scary....you've been there before. But as soon as you do the about-face, you don't remember which direction you came from 'cause it looks different on the way back. It's scary to realize you don't even recognize what's supposed to be friendly, familiar territory....... where you were safe and successful.

I could pretend the last 4 years were just a recon. But I think I've ventured too far from my patrol base. Instead of observing mayhem from a safe distance, I stripped down and danced naked in the moonlight with it. It's time to get dressed and break contact.