April's Tips on How to Strike a Convo on the Bus, or Get Them to Move Away

* "So, do you get regular gynocological checkups?"
* "Sometimes I call peanut butter "penis butter!"
* "I have a belly button!"
* "No doubt, I'm the playa that you talkin about! So when we hookin up baby?!"
* "Ever had scabies?"
* "Did you hear about that syphillis outbreak in Blaine?"
* Blow on them and say "Boy! It sure is windy on this bus!"
* "I never floss, my teeth are destroyed."
* "When I get off of this bus, go to the corner of Lakeway and Cornwall and there will be a pay phone. When it rings, I want you to follow the instructions given, don't say your name, don't ask questions. This is a very unique opportunity my son."

Tofu is:
	disgusting
	delish
	a slow way to die
	for treehuggers only
	tastes like chicken
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The Proverbial Penis Envy Incident
I had two tests today in psych! So I thought it would behuve me to study on the bus. Diligent student that I am, I had prepared some flash cards to help me memorize important terms and concepts. (pat on back) They kept falling out of my notebook and onto the floor. People were helping me gather them up and it was that moment that I was glad that I had refrained from putting phrases like "penis envy" and "testicular vs body weight" and drawing illustrations on the cards to aid my visual memory. Thank goodness I am not that creative.

http://www.urbanlegends.com/death/vending_machine_deaths.html

Vending Machine Deaths?? Thats what I said. Rumored to result in serious bladder injuries.

"I slept with a naked woman last night," I tell my coworkers. Circumstances: two tired girls, one bed, one girl who doesnt wear underwear or beleive in pajamas. YIKES