"I'm trying to figure out what it would be like to have sex with a girl who looked like a pregnant redneck". -werho

I miss Joanna :-(

So last week was my second intimate confrontation with the ditch. This time, i was getting off the bus by my house, but the damn driver had pulled too close to the edge of the road, so i was pressed up against the bus ace ventura style, trying to edge my way to the road without tumbling into the depths. Well, no dice, the driver closed the doors, which i was leaning against, which flung me head first into the ditch where i lay stunned. the bus driver decides it is necessary to turn on his hazards and leap off the bus shouting sorry at me, meanwhile the entire packed bus is learing out the windows at me....i was like, go fucking figure.

This is my cousin Ronnie. Hard to beleive we aren't actually blood related.......

"Hey Ape, No i haven't been to the ER yet, but there was one night i
probably should have. I started drinking tequila and rum, then didnt
remember drinking the whiskey or the vodka or shotgunning beer after beer.
Apperently i was up all night long howling at the moon and chasing people on
the street. Rough night. Then my b-day weekend i drank for nearly 60 hours
straight, took about 12 hours off and started again. I ended up having
around 80-100 drinks that weekend, around 40-50 of them on Sat alone. Rough
rough weekend. I got some beer to drink now, so i'll talk
to you later.
Ron

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