As I was driving back from the base I was hung (like a horse) so I scored some Burger King. They only have 3 meals for under $3 now. What the hell? All they've made bigger is the sodas. ANd who needs that much soda anyway? All I ever do with it is spill it on my crotch, then swerve and almost hit a pedestrians as a result of icey soda seeping into my nether-reigons. So I was driving along, utilizing my cheek pouches to store the fries and their buttery goodness, an evolutionary trait inherited from my primate friends, when I saw...my dream man. It was a Cassandra from Wayne's World moment- the slow 80s music in the back ground...soft breeze blowing our hair back...ahhh there he was next to me in his bmw. Our eyes met and sentiments were exchanged...

Okay, so this heat is making me delusional. It was more like this. At a stop light I am stuffing my cheeks full of BK, kickin it to Back that Ass Up when I turn and see a mesican in a pinto giving me the 'hey gringa.' I show him a mouth full of food and hit the gas.

** On a slightly different, but more disturbing note..the other day I was walking back from lunch with some guys and we were all in uniform. A few guys walk by and as they pass us we hear "I'd love to be under her command." I had to laugh I guess. So inaprop.

My friends are crazy assholes. My roommate got us kicked out of the rowdiest bar in Tucson last weekend. Another one is a lesbian that dances in gay bars with gay men in their tighty whities. Another one has a well known reputation for headbutting people. They make ME look normal!