"first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the women!" h.s.

"3 years I work here! First time I see girl buy skoal!" -Mr Indian Man at 7-11

Festivity Levels of Post-4th Sisterly Bonding

Level 1 : 9-10pm
Ash, Amber and I are sitting in Amber's apt, politely sipping Zima and discussing worldly issues. Amber is talking to her new, respectable boyfriend on the phone.

Level 2 : 10-12pm
The girls and I decide to go for a food run, Mr. Ethnic-Taco Bell man calls us 'beautiful ladies' and I instinctively say "right back atcha." We begin to swap our scandalous tales of slutty drunkeness and giggle in shock of each other's promisciuos behavior.

Level 3: 12-2:30 am
We are chugging the drinks as fast as we can, whatever we can get our hands on, running up and down the halls screaming obscenities, cursing the gods that Reg and Coup aren't home! Amber is talking to her ex, delinquent boyfriend on the phone, Ashley is tackling Amber, knocking her out of her chair and bashing her head on the desk. Soon Reg and Coup come home and I tackle Reg, rugby style, and introduce myself. Ashley is shimmying up to Coup, coyly rubbing his chest.

Level 4: 2:30-3:30 am
Ashley vomits hardcore and her legs turn to jello. I practically carry her up to the couch and Amber and I force-feed her water and crackers. She passes out, completely unresponsive. Amber and I go to Reg's to drink yet more alcohol. We end up spooning on the couch as Reg insists that he'd never pass up the opportunity to talk to two pretty girls, despite the hour. I demonstrate my anger at Coup's violation of my sister...speaking of Ash....I wonder if she's still breathing? We discuss whether or not Ash is still alive.....then we pass out. The end!