Wednesday, October 26, 2005

This has been one of those frustrating, bang your head against the wall-caliber weeks. Of course, I have been saying that almost every week for the past 3 months. When does it stop being a phase and start to become permanent?

"When I get home I'm gonna drink a cold beer!" has been uttered to my co-workers nearly every night this week. Then I go home and have two.

I have a fairly important job, good people to work for and work with and heaps of responsiblilty. Still I can't figure out why this is been so painful. My soldiers have seen that wild-eyed "she's about to strangle me" look from me way too often. I have never been so close to tears for so many consecutive days. We are goin on a good week now of suppressing screaming fits of frustration.

My language, colorful at the best of times, has gone to hell completely. Sarcasm has become the order of the day. I knew this job would make me bitter, I just didn't know it would be this soon. I always knew bureaucracies fostered a cynical atomsphere, I just thought I could find a way to thrive in it. Well, I'm still working on a way.