I hate having been acquainted with some of the most vile people in existence. The pain they have inflicted upon me and people I care about is beyond excuseable. Beyond forgiveable. These are things you cannot apologize for. I've recently learned that forgiveness does not consist of letting the person off the hook or letting the incidents go, but giving yourself permission to move on. You must give forgive yourself for being a bad judge of character, for trusting the wrong people and for divulging intimate secrets to someone you considered a friend. You didn't know they were spawns of satan.

I have forever changed how I encounter the world and who I trust. It hurts very much to have a friend stab you in the back...you don't get to see it coming. To quote The General's Daughter "I once asked what was worse than rape. Now I know, betrayal."

But I've learned that hate is much closer to love than indifference. So instead of wasting that energy hating them...I choose to be indifferent to them. Not impermeable or incapable of being hurt or having feelings, but belitting their existence so much that I do not even think about them. I do not have the obsession with them that they have with me. I hate knowing I have enemies out there who do their best to trip me up and make me miserable. I do know that how they are treating me is a result of how they have been treated. And for that, I pity them. The Lord may have mercy on their evil souls, but I really don't. I have no doubt they will get what is coming to them.