I used to think that life was some sort of apprenticeship; I'd get to a certain point, tell my parents I'd take it from there. I thought I'd get to an age where I'd be able to do life. That out of nowhere I'd be able to rattle off the latest stock quotes. Or the day would dawn when I'd be able to be taken seriously by a car salesman. That I would be able to keep my room clean for more than a day.
At the gym I've always felt I wasn't really working to my full potential-that if I just went a few more times I week I'd have Angela Bassett arms in no time. And I'd begin that leg shaping program just as soon as this lazy/depressed phase passes. Mostly I still feel like a teenager and sometimes compare myself to them "Why can't I pull off these sparkly jeans and platform vans?" I"m still waiting to feel grown up. I have many of the trappings of adulthood- guest towels, a Roth IRA, and prescription orthodics. I guess I"ll continue waiting for that glorious "I have arrived" moment. And if it never comes, I suppose that isn't so bad either.